I think I am in Love

My head is spinning

Around and around

Wondering if he ever knows

What I felt for him

Every hour every minute every second

All I can think about is him

I admit he is no other guy that I met

He is someone that pretends he doesn't cares

He makes me smile

Even though I was sad and terrified

He wiped my fear by his humour

He told me about his day

He told me about his stories

Tell me his thoughts

The only person to say 'good morning'

and wave me 'good bye' everyday

Always tries to have a conversation

He wants to exist in my life

He did

He never left my thoughts after that

Even though he left and never came back

He is the last person who created a memory

that occupies my whole thoughts

He is the first person who I first thought after I awake

Also the last person I thought before I sleep

I get excited every time I sees his text

I never want to fail him

The only reason I started to start writing again

He gave me strength

and hope where there is none

He teaches me to love again

He makes me to learn about world

Is this how love feels?

Because I think I am in love

Oh, if this what they called 'love'

I would say it is wonderful and beautiful

Yet painful and cruel

I want to live by his dark shadows no more

Everyday is suffocating me

It's like I'm living in a box

Is this how love feels?

Because I want to be in love no more

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Originally written by me and this is how my thoughts been doing the whole day after my finals. Was feeling creative and also sad. Which I don't know why. Maybe I was bored? But, I'm not sure.

I never felt so empty before. Yes, I enjoyed living the single life, but lately, I just don't get it. I've tried avoiding myself to fall in love, tried to not get hurt, and stuffs. But, there's this guy, he gave me a feeling that I once forgotten. This is stupid. Hahahaha. Even I, myself, laughed at my own stupidity.

Anyway, I just hope this long holiday I can earn more money so that I can travel alone and free. Just like what he said, "You may travel as far as you want, but try not to further your studies out there. It'll cost you a lot. If you study overseas, when you come back, maybe people that is your age may have their own business and be their own boss, but you? Still wanting to find a job and work under people," those words sting. But, I understand it. It makes sense. Who wouldn't want to have a business they conduct by themselves? After all those hardworks, then all the money you earned, you use it to travel the world. How does that sounds?

Well, still a long way to go, darling. 

I need to start now :)

Muah muah~